Almost there…

Finish-lineIf you’re like me, the last couple of weeks of the school year are a limp toward the finish line. As a rule, I try to stay chipper but it’s almost the end of the year and there are a few things I’m over. Allow me a moment to whinge.

i-updates: Could we get through just one blessed week without an i-device software update? There’s six people in our household and 10 i-devices. Eight are linked to my iTunes account which means apart from the fact that So Fresh albums now outnumber my Barry Manilow (that’s just wrong), I spend a solid day every other week updating devices.

Mornings: Come December, yelling words like “TEETH!” and “SHOES!” every few minutes as the way of getting everyone ready for school, doesn’t work as well as it does in term one.

Lunches: I start the term with variety but we’ve now entered the two-option-rotation: Monday/ Wednesday/ Friday canteen, Tuesday/ Thursday Vegemite sanga and an apple.

Related: Sent that apple to school 125 times now and it’s the most I’ve ever done anything (except update i-devices).

Related: Is there anything wrong with giving kids $10 and getting them to walk to school via Subway (asking for a friend)?

Uniforms: My kids diligently put their school uniform in the laundry each night. They obviously missed the end-of-year-washing-school-uniforms memo which said ‘See how many days can you get out of a uniform before it needs washing’. The navy shirts (compared to the pale blue) come into their own at this time of year.

Please feel free to leave your household record for Number of Days Uniform Worn Before Washing in the comments section below.

Shoes: My son in grade six is wearing shoes held together by tape and rubber-bands. No way am I buying new school shoes with two weeks to go. There might also be rubber bands associated with a lunch box or two.

Tired kids: Telling kids they’re tired only to have them burst into angry tears and yell that they’re “Not tired!”.

Note: if this is happening at your place, saying “Whatevs” when the tears start, only makes it worse.

Bandalooms: Are we done yet? (If anyone needs any, there is eleventy-million still on my carpet).

Play dates: every night after school, the pestering begins “Can so-and-so come over for a play…” or “Can I go to so-and-so’s house…” Kids, here’s the tip – parents have very special eye-to-eye-messages. Actually, they only use one of two messages – the first is “Okay by me if it’s okay by you….” and the second is “I actually just want to go home and lie on the couch in my tracksuit pants and watch mindless tele…” At this time of year, you’ll see very little of the first message and lots of the second. So in other words, don’t ask.

Candy Canes: They’ve started trickling in. It’s incredible that a two-inch piece of revolting hard candy can take a kid eleventy-million hours to eat.

Random Requests: someone needs to tell kids that parent capacity for complex tasks (such as science projects) or random requests (such as costumes for end-of-year concerts) is inversely proportional to the month in the year. Which is why incidents such as a friend’s grade 5 student arriving home from school and announcing “I need three gladiator costumes for tomorrow,” is the stuff that tips us over the edge.

Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to whinge. Feel free to add your own end-of-year peeves – I’m off to update apps and chuck out candy canes.

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